He did every substance imaginable – and got punched by Chuck Berry – but Keef’s still going strong. As the Stones knock out another new album, he explains why he’s rejecting AI in favour of ‘the old ways’

Keith Richards has just become a great-grandfather. “This is true! This is true!” he enthuses, video-calling from somewhere in the depths of the Hit Factory, the New York studio first patronised by the Rolling Stones 46 years ago when they were making Emotional Rescue. “It’s been a couple of weeks. It’s a new thing for me. But I’m a fantastic grandad,” he confides. “Great-grandadding is … I try to let them hang with me for as long as humanly possible, then I hand ’em back. I’ve been doing a lot of grandfathering in the last year or so. I’ve got three or four new ones, you know. When I say new, I mean … two or three years old. Or four. Or one, or maybe five.”

Hang on, that seems a little vague. He shrugs and explodes in a wheezy chuckle. “I lose track, you know.”

I have no legs, so the thought of tackling the nearly 6,000-metre peak seemed crazy. But after reflection, and hard physical training, I decided to give it a go

I was born with a rare genetic disease called sacral agenesis, which meant that my legs didn’t work. When I was five, I had surgery to amputate them. Doctors told my parents that I might never sit up, let alone be a functioning member of society – but as a child I wanted to try everything, and my mum and dad were great at encouraging me.

I learned to navigate the world by walking on my hands. I also had a wheelchair, or I’d get around our neighbourhood in Wyoming by skateboard, just like other kids.

From a hopeless candidate to botched strategy, this latest byelection defeat is telling. But for Labour, there is still a long and arduous journey ahead

The day before the voters of Makerfield chose their new MP, I stood with my camera-wielding colleague John Domokos on the main road through the post-industrial town of Hindley. Every two or three minutes, a van or small truck drew level with us, and there it was again: a honked horn, and a full-throated shout of “Reform!”

But on our side of the street was an augury of the news to come: the house of a man called Les, who had views most Guardian readers would find deeply problematic, and no less than seven placards adorned with the logo of Rupert Lowe MP’s new mega-right outfit, Restore Britain. “Farage has lost it,” Les told us. In at least one sense, the result – Labour’s Andy Burnham triumphing with 55% of the vote, Reform on 35%, and Restore managing 7% – proved he was spot on.

From Disclosure Day to Backrooms, a new wave of films promote stories of paranoia, alienation and mistrust. What are they trying to tell us?

Thank heavens for cinema, that light in the darkness and the source of all shocking scoops. It tells us to wake up and take action before it’s too late. That we live in the Matrix. That the CIA killed JFK. That our spouse is a robot and our boss an Andromedan. Also that there is an Escher-style staircase beneath the Tokyo subway and a disembodied zombie leg stalking the hook-up parks of Brazil.

How might we react if a trusted friend said all this? Would we be entertained or appalled, enlightened or freaked out? Would we even regard them as a trusted friend any more?

No trying my dessert, no tasting my drink, and definitely no double-dipping. I don’t care if it makes me sound precious or a germophobe

When I was a child, I remember the grimace on my uncle’s face when one of my sticky little cousins drank from his can of soda. He announced that he could no longer drink it because another person’s saliva had touched it. While no one said the words “germaphobe weirdo” out loud, we were all thinking it. Our shock increased as he abandoned his old can for a fresh one, because in the early 1990s wastage was serious – fizzy drinks were a treat and we had whatever the opposite was to the “don’t worry if you can’t finish that, darling” school of parenting.

Fast forward 35 years, and I’ve realised I am now that uncle. And not just drinks – this extends to food too. This may come as a surprise to some people, given that I’m Indian and sharing food is a fundamental pillar of who we are. But at home, we serve our food in giant pots, family style. There’s a spoon for every dish, and that kind of sharing is perfectly fine. There is no double-dipping because there are unspoken rules of engagement. What is not perfectly fine, however, is when different cultures come together, and someone thinks it is OK to put the spoon that was in their gob into the main pot, or use it to scoop something from another person’s plate.

Poorna Bell is a freelance journalist and author of She Wanted More

Forget pineapple and use berries instead, with aromatic five-spice adding its warming fragrance to this darkly delicious take on the classic bake

I grew up thinking the only fruit that was allowed in an upside-down cake was tinned pineapple, so once I discovered that no such rule existed and that I had free rein, upside-down cakes became far more exciting. I’ve since used everything from plums and apples to blood oranges, but today I’ve gone for blueberries. And, thanks to how juicy they are, you don’t even need to make a caramel: just toss the berries in sugar. I always add a pinch of five-spice, too, for a warming fragrance that just works. Trust me!

Burnham hails a ‘turning point’ for the country after a resounding victory over Reform UK and Restore that may force prime minister Keir Starmer to step aside

• Full report: Andy Burnham wins huge majority in Makerfield byelection, paving way for Starmer leadership challenge

• Burnham brings in top economists before possible leadership run

David Blunkett, the former Labour cabinet minister, has suggested that Keir Starmer should stand down after the Makerfield byelection.

In an interview on the BBC’s Newsnight, Blunkett suggested that Starmer standing aside would be the best option for the party regardless of whether Andy Burnham wins tonight or loses.

No wild celebrations after Makerfield byelection win as incoming Labour MP signals the start of an even bigger campaign

• UK politics – live updates

• Andy Burnham wins by huge majority

While an election count normally feels like an ending, the culmination of long campaign, in Makerfield the declaration of Andy Burnham as the constituency’s new MP felt like just the beginning.

In the days and weeks leading up to polling day, all talk was of whether Burnham could beat Reform, in this seat where Labour had lost every single vote they were contesting in the council elections just weeks ago.

Size of Makerfield victory has many allies hoping outgoing Greater Manchester mayor will be installed in No 10 within days

• UK politics – live updates

• How quickly could Burnham become PM?

Speaking hours before polls closed in Makerfield, a Downing Street source acknowledged a rare moment of doubt about the prime minister’s future. “Keir will fight on,” the source said, repeating the message to which Keir Starmer has stuck for several weeks. “Although, that might depend on the size of the majority.”

In the end, Andy Burnham’s majority was so convincing that allies hope he can be installed in No 10 within days. Louise Haigh, the Labour MP who helped run Burnham’s campaign, said on Thursday night: “I hope that [Starmer] will consider an orderly and managed transition.

After winning the Makerfield byelection, the returning Labour MP faces a number of scenarios in his bid to replace Keir Starmer

• UK politics – live updates
• Full report: Burnham wins by huge majority

After Andy Burnham’s seismic victory in Makerfield, his prospects of becoming prime minister in short order look significantly higher than they did 24 hours ago.

But there are many variables in that process – from whether he faces a rival such as Wes Streeting in a leadership contest, to whether Keir Starmer is quickly ready to accept the likelihood of his political demise.